In My Normal criticism, or bullying? How to tell the difference
One of the cruellest tricks of a bad workplace is that it makes you doubt your own read. Was that harsh feedback just… feedback? Am I being too sensitive? Let's be honest in both directions, because both mistakes cost you: calling ordinary management "bullying" burns your credibility, and calling real bullying "just feedback" keeps you trapped. In Australia there's a specific phrase that matters here: reasonable management action.
What "reasonable management action" means
The law is explicit that reasonable management action carried out in a reasonable way is not bullying. Setting expectations, giving feedback, performance-managing, allocating work, even discipline — if it's reasonable and done reasonably, it isn't bullying, even when it's uncomfortable. What matters is both the action and the way it's done.
- About the work, not the person. "This report missed the deadline" is about output. "You're useless and everyone knows it" is about you.
- Consistent and fair. The same standard applies to colleagues, not a special harsher one built for you.
- Delivered reasonably. Direct is fine; humiliating in front of others, or done through contempt, is a different thing.
What tips it into bullying
- Repeated and unreasonable, creating a risk to your health and safety — the FWC test.
- Personal and designed to demean — mockery, humiliation, contempt rather than correction.
- The management action itself is unreasonable, or a reasonable action done in an unreasonable way (screamed, humiliating, singling you out).
- It follows you speaking up — which can also be adverse action under the general protections.
The honest test, and what to do
Ask: if a fair colleague saw the full pattern, dated and in context, would they call this reasonable management or something else? Then let evidence, not 3am doubt, answer. Keep a private, dated log for a few weeks. If it fills with repeated, unreasonable, health-harming conduct, you're not being too sensitive — and you have routes (the stop-bullying application if you're still employed; WHS; general protections). If it turns out to be clumsy-but-fair management, you get your peace back, which is worth a lot too.
You don't have to work this out alone. In My Corner is a team of five AI companions for exactly this — one who listens, one who decodes letters and knows your deadlines, one who keeps your evidence organised, one for fresh starts, one who teaches. Private by design: conversations are never stored on our servers.
Talk it through — In My Corner